


we tried the world (good god, it wasn’t for us)

by regretttttttttt



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bad Decisions, F/M, roadtrip round town
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-14
Updated: 2015-08-14
Packaged: 2018-04-14 18:10:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4574646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regretttttttttt/pseuds/regretttttttttt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's 2am and Levi doesn't know how they got here. They might be drunk. No, they're definitely drunk, and they've just stolen Erwin's Lexus for a wild goose chase around town to find Hange's thesis.</p><p>Erwin's going to kill them when they get back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	we tried the world (good god, it wasn’t for us)

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Hozier's song: Jackie and Wilson.

She blows out of nowhere, roman candle of the wild  
Laughing away through my feeble disguise  
No other version of me I would rather to be tonight  
Lord she found me just in time  
  


 

“Oi. Quit making noise, Four-eyes!”

“Ooooh, but this is exciting.” Hange giggled and leaned in conspiratorially to whisper. “He’s going to be _so mad.”_

“If you keep talking loudly, someone’s gonna hear us.” Levi hissed. This was a bad decision. Who _even_ thought of this?

Beside him, Hange kept talking, “ _Well_ , Short-ass. You could hurry up.”

“You could help.” Levi threw back at her.

They were huddled in the hallway. By the stairs, Levi was rifling through layers of assorted coats piled on top of the bannister and rummaging pockets for a certain something. Car keys. Yes, they were about to steal a car. More specifically, Erwin’s Lexus. _Why couldn’t Erwin just make this easier and hang it up on the wall or something like a normal human being?_ There was nothing in this pocket so Levi moved onto the next. Hange still hadn’t shut-up. She had taken to covering her hand over her mouth but was doing a poor job of muffling her laughter.  

_Again, whose idea was this?_

**Ten minutes ago**

Levi’s not a people person, which is exactly why he did not want to go to a house party, but still, he got dragged there. It’s hard to refuse his boss anyway. Erwin has got a knack for persuasion, and probably a few years of blackmail material on him, since they knew each other since college, and bailed him out of a few sticky situations before. In fact, when Erwin first offered Levi a job at his firm, he had compiled a solid case for why he should join, starting from ‘you’ve got the qualifications’ and ending with ‘you owe me’. _The others_ (the people he actually liked) _will be there too,_ Erwin had told him over the phone, so it wasn’t too bad, but most importantly, there’s alcohol. He knocked back a few whiskeys, avoided small talk, waited about an hour or two, before slipping out on the porch to leave.

And who’s sitting there, blocking his way? Hange Zoë. Puffs of smoke drifted from the cigarette and wafted in the air. Levi crinkled his nose in disgust. He could list a hundred reasons why he detested smoking. Though Hange probably already knew them all. Leaning on the doorway – she was definitely spaced out, because she hadn’t even noticed him yet – he cleared his throat. Hange turned around and grinned.

“Levi.”

“I didn’t know you smoke.”

“I gave it up before college – too expensive, but I guess old habits die hard.” she said as she flicked the cigarette on the pavement, grinding it into the concrete with the heel of her boot. “Loads of work this week.”

Her voice was a little off. She seemed distant – furrowed brow and lips pressed together.

_Something’s up._

“So what’s making you look so constipated?”

“Ah, you know me so well, Levi.” She raised her hands above her head and stretched. “I think I lost my thesis.”

“You kidding? Who the hell just loses their thesis?!” For someone whose academic career was currently in jeopardy, Hange was awfully calm.

Scratching her head and biting her lip, she answered, “It was with me this morning – probably just misplaced it somewhere.” Hange got up and walked out onto the lawn. “I’m going to look for it.”

Levi cocked his eyebrow in disbelief. “Hey, are you drunk? It’s two in the morning. How are you going to find it?”

She turned around. Oh boy, she’s drunk. But, at least, she could still walk.

“Hmmm. Let’s see.” She paused and counted with her fingers. “Can of beer, and four shots of vodka.”

Then she shrugged like it was no big deal.

“Go home Hange and sleep.” Levi pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

“No can do, I need it this weekend. You’re not gonna make me, even if you tried.” She stuck her tongue out at him. “But you’re gonna help me find it.”

“No chance, Shitty-glasses.”

Hange walked towards him and threw her arm around his shoulder. “Yes, you are. We’re gonna go for a road-trip.”

“With whose car, exactly?” Levi asked, prying her arm away.

“With that.” She gestured grandly at the shiny, red Lexus Convertible parked in the driveway.

“We’re not stealing Erwin’s Lexus.”

“Come on. I know you want to.” Her eyes gleamed in the moonlight. “We’ll just take it for a spin, return it in one piece, and Erwin won’t notice a thing. Also, I know you’ve been waiting for a time to get back at him for forcing you to take this job. I’m handing my thesis next Monday. So help me, please.” She pleaded, clasping her hands together and batting her eyelashes.

Levi’s eye twitched in irritation. Her voice was getting increasingly louder and if anyone heard, he’d be dragged back in for more. _The best escape is with a good getaway car, right?_ Well, this car just so happened to be Erwin’s.

“Okay, okay.”

“Yessss” Despite his best efforts to dodge, Hange threw her arms around his neck. “Thank you.”

 _This is weird._ She smelt pleasantly of faint cigarette smoke.

\---

Thinking back on it, maybe he’s drunk too. But it’s too late now because the deed has already been done.

“We’re good to go.” He whispered gruffly, as he turned the keys in the ignition and the dashboard lights flickered on.

Hange clambered in.

“Adventure! We can be detectives. Holmes and Watson. I’ll be Holmes and you’ll be my dear Watson.”

Choosing to ignore her this time round, Levi pressed his foot on the pedal and watched her head hit the back of the seat.

“I need you sober for this.”

“You’re the one driving. Are you sure you’re sober?” She said, poking his face.

“I’m not even sure at this rate.” Levi muttered under his breath.

“Hmmm? What was that?”

“Let’s get going.”

Hoping that the loud music from inside the house would mask the sound of the engine revving, Levi carefully turned the car out of the driveway.

Finally out of the main road, he asked, “where are we going?”

“We should retrace my steps.” She mused with her hands on her chin. “I definitely brought it out with me. I went to a diner this morning before heading to campus. We should go there first? What time is it?” Hange leaned across to inspect the clock. “Still should be open.”

“Okay. We’ll head there first.”

\---

Bless the ‘Little Titan Dinner’ to be open at such early hours in the morning. He would always end up here, after being dragged out on way too many late nights during his college days. Mike had said that they served the best pancakes and waffles. He wasn’t wrong. Fluffy pancakes, with a pat of butter and drizzle of maple syrup was the reward at the end of a tiring day.

The waitress shook her head when Hange asked if there was any lost property given in. _Red USB stick with a DNA key-charm,_ she had said. He’s not surprised. Because Hange’s mind was more scattered than that to have simply lost her thesis in the first place they would look for.

“Let’s get something to eat.” Hange plopped herself down at the nearest table and opened the menu.

(He didn’t know why she did that. They’ve been here so many times, that they’ve practically memorised it by now.)

“Shouldn’t we be getting a move on?”

 He sat down anyway.

“It’s fine. I’m hungry and we need to sober up.” She closed the menu and placed it back into the stand. “What do you want?”

“I’m not that hungry. I’ll just get some coffee.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. Someone needs to stay awake.”

“Then I’m getting waffles with maple syrup and bacon.” She waved to the waitress. “Don’t complain when you ask for some and I don’t give you any.”

“No need. You always put too much syrup on it.”

“You always have too little. Maple syrup is great and you need more joy in your life.”

“You can tell me all about joy when your teeth start rotting.”

“Are you my dentist, Levi?” She teased and smiled, baring her teeth. “See, they’re fine.”

It’s true. Hange lived off chocolate and energy drinks half the time, and yet, her teeth were in perfect condition.

“Idiot. You need to take care of yourself more often.”

“Aww that’s cute. But don’t worry, Moblit does that for me.”

“I know. You’re lucky that guy’s got the patience of a saint.”

“I could say the same for you.” Hange added, propping her elbows onto the table and leaning in to rest her chin on her hand. “You put up with a lot of my crap too.”

 _What am I supposed to say?_ Levi was dumbfounded. There was no straight answer to this and he certainly didn’t want to spend more than ten seconds explaining why. Hange was staring at him with that look when she expected something simple and easy – questioning with wide eyes and her head tilted ever so slightly. Thank God that the waitress arrived because his mind was still scrambling for a reply.

Levi’s usually an upfront man, but with things like this, unfortunately he was not.  

\---

They were on the highway now and in the distance, the city lights were whizzing past in a blur. Hange’s feet were propped on the dashboard (he’d given up on telling her to take them off) and she’s singing along with Erwin’s song collection. The current: ‘I Want You Back’, Jackson 5. And she’s screeching it from the top of her lungs. Somehow, Levi’s not irritated. _Years of friendship does that to you._ Besides, she’s not a bad singer, when she sings her voice is husky – this one was just a bit too high for her.

He could hear some rustling – _what’s she doing? –_ and when he turned round, she had already climbed over, into the back of the car.

“What the hell?!” _She’s going to get herself killed,_ he griped.

“Relax.” She said waving away his protests. And then, standing up, she threw her hands into the air. Levi swore that one day she was going to kill _him_ with her antics.

“Yahoo!” Her clothes were ruffling and her hair was getting messier by the second from the rushing wind. As they drove through a tunnel, the passing lights illuminated her ecstatic face.

“See that?” She yelled excitedly.

“Yes, I saw that.” It was hard not to smile.

All of sudden, there was a blare of sirens behind them.

They looked at each other. “Oh, shit.”

“Get back and buckle up.”

Hange scrambled quickly back into her seat.

“We’re not going to stop?”

“Nah, best hold on.”

They’re both so screwed, but _not today._ (That’s what Levi was telling himself). Slamming his foot down onto the pedal, Levi floored it.

“Holy shit!” Hange yelped as body jerked forward due to the sudden increase in speed. Her hands shot up to wrap her fingers tightly around the door handle. Most people would think she was shocked if her eyes weren’t glimmering.

“You can drive like that?!”

 _Yes,_ Levi could, except he’d much rather drive like a normal person. If you could categorise drivers, Levi would be the calm type, who obeyed most highway codes. This was an exception. Current circumstances didn’t require that from him. _Where did you learn how to drive like_ that _?_ Levi was not going to tell.

To busy concentrating on the road, Levi ignored Hange’s barrage of questions. The speedometer was reaching 90mph and he wondered why she wasn’t freaking out. _Someone needs to remind me how I got here._ Because a car chase was the last thing on his mind when he walked out of Erwin’s house a few hours ago. Then again, he’s the weirdo who decided not to pull over when the cops called them to stop.

They were both crazy. This was established when they first met but Levi needed a reminder now and then.

After a twenty minute car chase, Levi managed to throw the cops off their trail. He turned the corner into a narrow alleyway and stopped to catch his breath. No running was involved but he felt the need to recover.

“Phew” Hange let out a long sigh of relief. “That was some GTA shit.”

“We’re never doing that again.” He groans into the palm of his hand.

“Don’t worry.” She patted him on the shoulder. “You looked like you’re about to bust a vein or something.”

Hange even had photographic evidence. She brandished the phone from her pocket and showed him the picture. Levi had no idea when she took it. Obviously, he had other priorities to focus on. _God, I look weird._  His face was twisted with intense concentration but his eyes were gleaming. Driving like that was exhilarating but also painfully stressful, knowing they had violated bunch of road rules. Plus, if they got pulled over, there was always the prospect of spending a night in jail.

“You didn’t send that to anyone?” Levi was not getting arrested because she posted it on Facebook or worse, face Erwin’s wrath, because she snapchatted to Nanaba or Mike who were bound to show it to Erwin.

“No, I’m not stupid!” Hange replied with mock indignation. 

“I don’t know. You’ve done pretty stupid things before.”

“That was all in the name of science.” A proud declaration. “I should get that etched onto my grave when I die.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if you did.”

“It’s a good cause.”

 Levi rolled his eyes.

Where to next?”

“I went out during lunch to a park nearby to feed the ducks.”

_Seriously? You have a thesis in next week and you managed to find the time to feed ducks?_

His face must have given him away because she immediately came to her own defence.

“Hey, they help me to concentrate and they’re really, _really_ interesting.” He’s not ‘judging’ her because of that. “Plus, Marty likes me.” He was ‘judging’ her for this. Animals, especially strays, were strangely attracted to her and she’d probably keep them all if she wasn’t constantly preoccupied with work. Levi didn’t know how she could tell a single duck apart from a dozen of other lookalikes but Hange had a keen eye.

“Please tell me you didn’t drop it in the lake.”

“I wasn’t that close to the edge.”

“Trashcan?”

“Now that you say…”

“We’re not digging through that shit.”

“I never said I threw it in the bin.”

“Hange.”

“Okay, okay. Not the trash.”

\---

It was pitch dark in the park and Levi is 99.99% sure there’s probably a creep lurking in the shadows. Though if there was, the creep should be worried. Levi’s a black-belt martial arts expert. And Hange, good God, you don’t want to go there, because she’s something else. Even Levi never wanted to fight her. He had seen her go mad and she left nothing but broken bones, glass and blood. So if there was a murderer, may God have mercy upon his poor soul.

Turns out, there was no murderer. Levi felt a little disappointed. They brought a pair of torches they managed to find conveniently in the car trunk, ( _does Erwin go out for late night walks?),_ and walked down to the lake.Levi had no idea how they were going to find it in park – needle in a haystack – but there’s nothing wrong in trying.

With torches pointed at the ground, they scanned for clues, or more specifically – something red and shiny. Nothing but grass. Loads and loads of grass. And the occasional wrapper or cigarette stubs. Seriously, people needed to pick their trash up after they’re done.

“Did you find anything?” Hange yelled as she jogged towards him, accidentally shining the torch at his eyes.

Levi winced.

“No.”

Hange sat down at a nearby bench, swinging her legs and rubbing her hands over her bare arms, as she shivered. Then she sighed, exhaling puffs of foggy breath into the chilly night air. “It’s cold.”

“Your fault, you didn’t take a coat.”

She grinned sheepishly. _My bad._ No words, but Levi knew it what she meant.

_Dammit._

“Just take mine.” He grumbled, shrugging off his jacket.

“You sure?”

“You’re the one wearing a t-shirt.”

“Thanks.”

It barely fit her. The sleeves were too short and there was no point zipping it up. _Looks good though._ In a 3/4 length-sleeved leather jacket way. Now he was staring at her for too long. Even though it was dark, he could still see the spark in her eyes – flecks of golden-brown. Levi looked away quickly and followed her gaze across the shimmering, moonlit lake.   

And it was like that for a few good minutes. Comfortable silence. Shoulder to shoulder, under the starless sky with their arms just touching.

“We should head back soon.” Hange’s voice was so soft that it was barely a whisper.

Levi murmured in agreement.

\---

They pulled up outside of campus to the tune of ‘I Wanna Dance with Somebody’. It figures. Erwin’s the nostalgic type with a thing for golden oldies. But you can’t blame him. This was their last stop, and as much as Levi would hate to admit, it had been fun, except he could do with some sleep. When he checked his watch it was already past 4am. He’s going to wake up with some serious dark circles, though he didn’t think anyone would notice much difference from the usual. Hange was even more energetic than usual.

“We’re here.” She cheered when he turned off the engine. But it seemed a little off. This was Hange trying to stay positive to cover up her worries.

“Don’t worry, we’ll find it.” He reassured her. “Knowing you, you’ve probably just left it on your desk.”

“I hope so.”

“If it is, I’m going to kill you because we just spent hours going on a wild goose chase.” His voice sounded rougher than he would like, but it didn’t seem to dampen her mood.

“If I’m dead there’d be no one to share your sense of humour.” She countered playfully. “Imagine, I wouldn’t be there to trade shit jokes with you.”

“What a loss.”

At the door, she pulled out her key card and swiped it over the panel.

“Canteen.” She pulled his arm in her direction. “I went there for lunch.”

 No luck in the canteen. The table she’d sat at was wiped down spick and span. There was also nothing behind the counter or anything inside the till. Hange offered her bobby pin and Levi ad picked the lock. You’d be surprised with the number of things that had shitty security.

“Come on,” Levi could detect the hint of panic in her voice, when Hange pushed open the lab-room door. By now she was fully sober and the realisation was starting to creep up on her. “Please be here.”

The lab was a mess in Levi’s eyes. Hange would disagree. _It’s an organised mess._ After all, he didn’t understand any of this science-y stuff, so Hange was probably right. Stacks of papers and books were piled haphazardly on top of each other, equipment scattered across the table, petri dishes and test tubes lay unwashed in the sink. Levi may not be an expert on science but he’s pretty sure that if there needed to be a visual definition of a lab hazard it would be Hange’s. He could see various coloured chemicals in open flasks in one corner of the room that could be knocked over at any moment. The whole room screamed of ‘tread with caution’, prompting Levi to carefully navigate around the room to open cupboards and flick through textbooks, whilst Hange moved briskly, peering under tripods and moving around test-tube racks.

A squeal.

“Ah. I found it!”

There, in the corner of the room, attached to the computer, was Hange’s USB stick.

Hange yanked her USB from the slot and promptly smacked a kiss onto it.

“I thought I lost you.”

“Really?”

“Hey, you don’t know how much blood, sweat and tears went into this precious baby.”

“And I’d rather not.”

Grinning, she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him in for a tight hug.

“Thank you so much. I’m sorry I dragged you out all the way here.”

“Don’t be.” He said gruffly and continued to mumble, “I don’t mind, anyway.”

When she finally released him from her ‘death’ grip (Hange gave mean hugs), she pecked him swiftly on the cheek. Levi did not expect that. His mind went blank for a few seconds. He was trying to find the right words but Hange had already waltzed out of the door and he was left standing there looking incredibly stupid.

Her sing-song voice, calling from the corridor, brought him back to reality.

“Levi, we need to get back.”

_Ah, yes, the car._

Back in the Lexus, Hange was humming with joy, playing with the USB in her hand and twirl it around on its chain.

“If you keep doing that, you’re going to swing it out of the car, and lose it for sure.”

Continuing to hum even louder, Levi knew that she was too happy to listen to him. Too absorbed in her own thoughts. She’s already planning the final paragraphs of her thesis.

“Hange.” He tried getting her attention “Oi, Hange.”

It wasn’t going to work. Reaching over from his seat, he threaded his hands through the hair of her messy ponytail and turned her head towards his till the tips of their noses were almost touching.

“Hange?”

That got her attention.

Her lips formed an ‘o’ when she realised.

 _Oh fuck it,_ Levi decided and leaned in. Truth be told, it was a little bit clumsy at first. Their noses bumped and Levi panicked when she didn’t respond. When she did, it was sweet and tentative. For someone who constantly forgot to take care of herself, her lips were chapped but soft. She still tasted like the maple syrup from the diner. He can feel the smile playing on her lips and by the time they drew away she’s positively beaming. A faint blush dusted her cheeks and Levi thought, _cute._ Hange started to giggle and buried her face in the crook of his neck.

“Finally.” She sighed. Her voice was muffled by the fabric of his shirt.  

“Wait,” he sputtered. “Don’t tell me you knew this whole time?”

“Not exactly. I wasn’t 100% sure.”

“So all this time?! I could’ve kissed you years ago”

Hange drew away sharply, placing both hands on his shoulders. _1, 2, 3._ Her eyes widen as the realisation dawned on her.He was waiting for those words to sink in.

“Whoa! Seriously?!”

“Yes, seriously.” He deadpanned.

“Oh God! We’re such idiots.” She buried her face into the palm of hands in embarrassment.

“Crazy idiots, especially what we did tonight.” Levi added.

Hange agreed.

“Well, we’re gonna have to make up for all those lost years.” She suggested slyly, going in for another kiss.

_I can do that._

**Back at Erwin’s**

“I’m surprised you’re not pissed at them stealing your car.” Nanaba was lying across the couch with her legs draped over Mike’s lap.

“They need to sort this out.” For Erwin, it had been too many years.

 “You bet they do.” Mike snorted. “The sexual tension is so strong I could practically smell it.”

“You think it’s gonna happen tonight?” Nanaba asked, hopefully.

Yes, they were all fed up.

“It’s going to have to be,” Erwin sighed. “Because if it isn’t by the time they come back, I’m throwing them into the basement.”

“We should bet who makes the first move,” suggested Mike.

Perking up, Nanaba lifted her head from the armrest. She pulled the wallet from her pocket and placed a fifty onto the table. This needed some high stakes.

“I’m going for Hange.”

“Me too,” decided Mike, matching Nanaba’s bet. “Every time Levi’s had the opportunity, he ran like a little shit.”

“Looks like I’m going with Levi then.” Erwin mused. “He’s going to crack and just kiss her.”

“I think Hange knows something,” said Nanaba, but then shrugged. “They’re both too chicken to admit their feelings.”

 “Doesn’t matter. If they’re getting together tonight, we’re going for drinks.” Erwin really needed this to happen.

“Really? I wanted to use the money for a motorcycle.” (Mike seemed to think he’d already won the bet.)

“That’s nothing.” Erwin gestured to the money lying on the coffee table.

“Every little helps. I’m almost there.”

“How much?”

“Three hundred.”

“Not bad.”

Nanaba, who had remained quiet for the short duration of this conversation, voiced her thoughts, though it wasn’t on motorcycles. “Are you sure you’re not gonna be pissed off when they come back?”

“Levi’s the safest driver I know.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about.” She smirked suggestively.

No, no, no.

Erwin had not thought of _that._

He’s going give them the third degree when they’re back.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't really know where it's set - US or UK, or some imaginary city - because 50 is worth a lot in the UK than in the US.  
> Erwin will probably have the cops at his door the next morning but he can pay off the fine with his winnings.  
> Thanks for reading.


End file.
